Anything To Not Write

20 things I do to avoid writing:

  1. “I like staying in bed until 9 AM. I’m a night owl.”
    *Later, falls asleep watching TV at 10 PM*
  2. “Is that a Robin? HEY YOU GUYS! THERE’S A ROBIN IN THE YARD! COME LOOK!”
  3. “All my favourite authors say that good writers also read a lot. So I’m going to read for an hour. Or two.”
  4. “I’ll just have a shower and get dressed first.”
  5. “I can’t focus of writing while I’m listening to this podcast, so I’ll just clean the kitchen until the podcast is over.
    *Podcasts can easily be paused, but why?*
  6. “I need to make a cup of coffee before I start.”
  7. “I’ll let Alice out first so she doesn’t disturb me mid-write.”
  8. “Alice wants in.”
  9. “I wonder what the temperature is?”
  10. “I wonder what the temperature outside is?”
  11. “I feel bloated. I’m going to do a few pushups and get a glass of water.”
    *Does 10 pushups. Falls asleep on the floor*
  12. “I hate checking my email, but’s it’s got to be done.”
  13. *Facebook*
  14. *Sim City Buildit*
  15. “This cat is soft and he’s purring. I need to enjoy the little things. I’m going to pet him for a while.”
    *Falls asleep with cat in lap*
  16. “I’d better order that book from the library before I forget.”
  17. “What’s the scientific name for a yellow lab?”
    *Goes to Wikipedia.45 minutes later I know everything there is to know about Queen May Hnin Theindya of Pegu trying to save her husband Tarabya’s life by tying her tresses with his.*
  18. “Ugh…I have coffee mouth. I need to brush my teeth.”
  19. “I’ll put a load of laundry in, then write while it’s happening.”
    *Contemplates the meaning of life while watching the clothes get washed. Falls asleep during spin cycle.*
  20. “I need a nice classical music mix to inspire me”
    *Goes to iTunes. 45 minutes later I’ve finished playing of Concrete and Gold again*
  21. “Bagel Bites…”
  22. “I’m going to play with Alice”
  23. “I should see if there are any available volunteer shifts at NMC.”
  24. “The clock on the microwave didn’t get rolled back! Honestly…people in this house will do anything to avoid anything that requires effort.”
  25. “I’m going to make a list of things I do to avoid writing…that’ll get me in the mood.”