I was listening to “Calgary” by Bon Iver and “The Angels” by Melissa Etheridge and Earl Scruggs while I wrote this…

Calgary
[audio:http://www.blig.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Calgary.mp3|titles=Calgary]
The Angels
[audio:http://www.blig.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/The-Angels.mp3|titles=The Angels]

It was beautiful day in Calgary today. A perfect day for a bike ride. Lots of people thought so, because the pathways were crowded, particularly the part on the south side of Prince’s Island. That’s goodbad…good to see so many folks getting outside and enjoying our outstanding path system…bad because it means stupid people who usually drive are now riding bikes and rollerblading and generally getting in my way and on my nerves.

Not many people know this, but Calgary has one of the most extensive pathway systems in the world, with over 500 kilometres of pathways within our city boundaries. That’s strictly dedicated bike/pedestrian paths and doesn’t include “on street” bike routes.

Here’s some stuff I saw, heard or smelled today, with appropriate BRB* rankings:


One of these, but with Superman instead of a Muggle

A little boy who I’d guess was about 5 riding a bike trailer behind his dad. He was fully decked out in a Superman costume, including a red bike helmet with a Superman sticker on it. He was sticking one arm in front of him like he was flying, and his cape was billowing out behind him like Captain Jack Sparrow’s mainsail.

Excellent.

BRB ranking +8


A fully grown man wearing what appeared to be a Speedo instead of bike shorts. Spandex is bad enough, but this…THIS…*sad face*

Not excellent.

BRB ranking -5


Total minutes not on the StinkTrain = 60

Excellent.

BRB ranking +30


I ran over a piece of gum and which then picked up every pebble and stick I rolled over, causing my rear wheel to go thunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunk for about 5 kilometres until it wore off.

Not excellent.

BRB ranking -7


Degrees above zero = 23

Excellent.

BRB ranking +23


A guy on a longboard pushing and pushing and pushing until he almost ran into a pedestrain, and then he got mad at her like it was her fault for not moving. Idiot. Either slow down or learn how to steer your board.

Not excellent.

BRB ranking -2


Beside the zoo, I saw a jogger.

His nipples were bleeding.

I laughed.

Because that kind of idiot is funny.

BRB ranking +3


I came up behind this woman who was riding slow and looking at all the trees and flowers. I was going to pass her until I noticed she was singing. She had earbuds in and was loudly and fearlessly belting out the words to what I think was a country song. I wish I had the guts to do that. Instead, I just followed her for a few minutes and basked in the radiance of her awesomeness.

Excellent.

BRB ranking +7


There was a slight wind coming out of the south. That’s a tailwind for my ride home, and when I get to 19th Street NE between 32nd and McKnight with a tailwind I can build up a pretty good head of steam. Today there was a motorcycle cop with radar on the 3800 block. He tagged me and gave me 3 fingers and then 5 fingers (for 35 Kmh) like a baseball manager signalling for the steal, and then a thumbs up and a smile.

Nice.

BRB ranking +50


Cumulative BRB ranking for today’s ride home = 107

* BRB (BLiggy Rides a Bike)