Oh Yeah? Well I’m TALLER Than You!

Every time I make an off-the-cuff reference on Facebook regarding the weather, a handful of people take it as an invitation to start a pissing contest about how great or shitty the weather is wherever they are.Β  Why is weather a basis for bragging rights? I understand the appeal of trash talk inΒ  sports, but I don’t get why weather prompts this response. It’s not like you have any control over it. Why don’t people do this consistently with other topics?


Me: I’m sad.
Facebook: I’m much sadder than you. Look…this is how sad I am πŸ™ πŸ™Β  πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™
Facebook: Not me! I’m super happy. Sucks to be you. You should come to my house and be happy.


Me: I have a cold.
Facebook: PWNED!!! Not only am I not sick, I just grew an extra arm and I’m currently bench pressing a skid of dog food. Watch me breathe through my nose! You should be where I am. Nobody ever gets sick here.
Facebook: You think you’re sick? I’m terminal. I could die at any minu


All I’m doing is thinking out loud when I make a weather observation. I’m not looking for suggestions as to where it might be nicer or colder. I already know that, and it ultimately doesn’t matter because I’m not jumping on a plane or FedExing you a snow-blower. Besides, the weather observation is generally implied to be secondary to the mood or activity that accompanies it.

If I say “It’s cold and I hate it here”, telling me it’s great where you are only makes me feel worse. So thanks for that.

In conclusion, I want to state for the record that ohmygodIjustsawthesunIhavetogooutsidenowbye.

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