I’ve been feeling pretty good until the last couple of days. Deep down, I still feel optimistic and believe things will turn out fine. Better than fine, even. However, nothing brings a person crashing back to reality like a lack of income.
I have another week or two until EI kicks in, but even when it does we’ll have a significant shortfall to deal with. I hate how much control money has over our lives. Imagine how much happier most of us would be if we didn’t have to be constantly thinking about money and how we’ll deal with either a lack of it or an excess of it.
There are no definitive numbers, but let’s be generous and say that 50% of us hate our jobs. That is an astonishing and depressing number. What if half of us hated our kids? You can bet there’d be some action taken on that. Yet somehow it’s acceptable that half of us spend most of our waking hours being miserable.
To those of you who have found employment that enriches your life and keeps you happy most of the time, be grateful. Never lose sight of how fortunate you are.
I’m now at a point where I have to do pretty much whatever comes along. That means I have to curtail doing what I love and am good at, and therefore pull back on something that has a positive impact on the world and people around me. That’s bumming me out more than the money.
On the upside, family and friends continue to be unbelievably supportive and encouraging. I’m fond of saying that the best thing about being me is having my friends, and this experience proves it, even if it doesnt pay the bills.
I believe I’m a talented and unique guy, and that will be my ultimate saviour. All I need is for somebody willing to pay me for those kind of fuzzy skills. I know this is just a data point…a temporary dip in an otherwise upward trend…but when you’re in the middle of it, living in the day, it feels so much more hopeless. Knowing that others have gone through it doesn’t help. Knowing that things will be OK again one day doesn’t help. Understanding that it’s OK to have a bad day, to acknowledge and give voice to that day, to know that it’s not weakness or self-pity…that helps. My climate is fine, I’m just in the middle of some short term bad weather.
I’ll finish off with a few things my friends have said to me privately, because I like the words and I feel like sharing them. After all, “it’s not bragging if you can do it.”
“Dig yourself. You are uncommonly groovy.”
“Most people think they’re really unique, but you’re the only person I’ve ever met who actually is.”
“I think you have more talent than I’ve ever seen. Creative and funny, and I mean that sincerely. Never change, man.”
“Somebody said of Gord Downie, “His brain goes to places that few others look. I think it’s his curiosity…his instinct to challenge the status quo. He knows you can love something and still see it’s flaws.” I think that applies to you too.”
Thanks friends. I don’t know where I’d be without you.
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” – Kurt Cobain