*4:56 AM…alarm goes off*

Me: Just hit “snooze”…

Me: No. I have to get up and write.

Why? What’s going to come of that?

I’m going to make money doing it one day.

HA! No you’re not. You’re nowhere near good enough for anyone to pay you.

Maybe not right now, but if I keep at it I think I can be good enough.

Just go back to sleep. That has immediate benefits and satisfaction.

No. I’m getting up now. Come with me.

Awwwww…you are such a dick.

No you are.

No you are.

No you are.

No you are.

Lookit…I’m doing this. In the short term, I need to get out of my job and do something I like. In the long term, I need something I can do until I die because I can’t afford to retire.

I’ve got news for you pal; you’re going to be one of those old people who gets featured on the news because you’re living in your car and almost froze to death.

No. I think I can…

You blew it already!

It’s not too late. I’m not that old. I can fix this.

It sure is too late. Look at all your friends. They have it figured out. They have money and rewarding careers. You made bad decisions after college, and now you’re screwed. Forever. Just accept it.

My friends think I can be a writer.

They’re just being nice to you because they’re your friends. If you had any talent at all, you’d already be doing this. Let’s go back to bed.

What you’re saying makes sense…

Of course it does. You already tried being “an artist”. That’s what got you into this whole mess in the first place. While you were out playing rock star, your friends were building their lives and careers and bank accounts. You’re an impulsive fool. A dreamer. You’ll never be anything more than what you are. 

Maybe you’re right.

I am totally right.

I’m just going to make a note of our conversation.

OK, then let’s…HEY! I see what you did there! 


You’re going to go write all this down. 


Why bother? If you’re going stay awake, why not make constructive use of your time? Research how much houses cost in remote northern Saskatchewan towns. That’s going to be the only place you’ll be able to afford to live.

Maybe later. I think I’ll just go on Facebook for a while, and then play Words With Friends.

Even better…sorry to be so rough on you. Somebody has to do it.

I know.

It’s not your fault. Life just didn’t work out the way you wanted. Some people get lucky breaks. Some don’t. You didn’t. Here’s a list of people you can blame…

Gah! I HATE that guy. He was such a dick to me.

You’re a loser, but I love you.

I love you too.

*To be continued*